Day by Day

Chickadee started Tuesday by singing "The Magnificat" and "The Bear Went Over the Mountain" to herself.  On Wednesday the Ace was fine.  By Friday CW knew that her birthday party would not be this Saturday as originally planned.  The children are sick.  One by one they have fallen, and I am falling with them.  Not sick myself but sinking in spirits as each ones succumbs to this illness which I cannot prevent.  My unceasing prayer was that if it be the Lord's will that He would spare us all from this malady.  It was not His will.

Oh, Lord, Thy will, not mine, and yet I fight it oftentimes.  Help me, Lord, for when I am weak (and, yes, I am feeling weak), you are strong.  I need Thee every hour and am especially feeling that need right now.

Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find, to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.
He Whose heart is kind beyond all measure
Gives unto each day what He deems best—
Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.

Every day, the Lord Himself is near me
With a special mercy for each hour;
All my cares He fain would bear, and cheer me,
He Whose Name is Counselor and Power;
The protection of His child and treasure
Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
“As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,”
This the pledge to me He made.

Help me then in every tribulation
So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation
Offered me within Thy holy Word.
Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
Ever to take, as from a father’s hand,
One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
Till I reach the promised land.

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine with ten thousand beside!

Dying to Self

In the midst of the hubbub of the year, I find myself challenged today to give up my will and submit to the Lord's.  It is not what I want to do.  I want things to be my way - whether that is in tune with God or not.  This morning before I got up, I already had a full plate.  Ever since then things have not gone exactly the way I would have had them go, and I am struggling with that.  I admit it.

I need to let go but am holding on for dear life.  Then . . .

Everyone gets up late (myself included).

One child has a major meltdown before the day is hardly started.

Another child does her schoolwork completely wrong and seemingly nonsensically.  There is a need to do it again - twice.

It is lunchtime, and I already know that there is at least one person who will not be interested in the food that is put before them.

Grrrr . . . as I feel my temperature rising and my blood boiling, I keep telling myself that my attitude is all wrong.  In another child's Bible story for today, I read about Mary and Martha.  A lesson to self.  Is what I am doing worth anything?  Who am I doing it for?  Me or the Lord?  Is what I am doing what I am supposed to be doing right now?  Today?  Listen to God and quit worrying about all of the work that you think that you have to do today.  Stop looking at yourself period and start looking unto Jesus.  I confess that I have done it again, Lord.  Taken my eyes off of you.  Not worthy.  Father, forgive me and help me.  I need your enduring mercy every day.  How about you?

Mountains and Molehills

Cheez Wiz and I have been talking about the difference between a mountain and a molehill lately.  There is a difference, and we all need to have the right perspective to be able to see it.  Too often I find myself drifting back into that state of consciousness where I do not have the mind of Christ and am walking by sight, my own sight, and not looking unto Jesus.  Then my Lord lovingly and graciously gets my attention again, and I wake up and wonder how long have I been in this dream-like condition trying to get by on my own strength and not doing a very good job of it.

Yesterday after OBT got home, these words strongly came to me 'His presence disperses my sorrows and fears, and bids me rejoice in my Lord."  Wow!  At first I could not remember which hymn these words are from.  Then I remembered "How Lovely the Place".  We are still waiting on the Lord and feeling closer to Him as we feel right now our need for Him.

Hope Realized

Today has been a day where I happily spent time in the kitchen.  Today is a day where we had no need to go anywhere and could stay home.  A favorite kind of day of mine.  So I took pumpkin, corn, and squash and chopped, baked, and blanched, then cooled and froze our produce blessings. 

Lately we have received some bad news.  It was unexpected, and right now we are taking it one day at a time.  Yet in light of this life does go on.  The world does not stop for bad news.  I think that is a good thing to help my mind not dwell on things that bring me down.  Also the Lord is giving us peace and strength to trust Him as the situation is in many ways out of our control.  We are praying more diligently and praying for the Lord's will - whatever that means. 

This summer I wrote myself a note in big letters and placed it in the kitchen where I would see it every day.  At the top it says R-E-L-A-X and underneath are the words L-E-A-N, R-E-S-T, B-E-L-I-E-V-E, T-R-U-S-T.  They are reminders to myself of how I ought to be living.  I need to be reminded.  How about you?

Pumpkin promise

Last fall our neighbor gave us two big, dark green pumpkins from their garden with no promise of ripening.  We sat them on the front porch and waited to see what would happen.  Both did ripen in time, and I cooked the first one and we ate.  The second served as our fall front porch decoration up until the time it rotted.  I then tossed it on the side of our house, and there it stayed. 

This spring what I thought might be pumpkin seedlings appeared - two of them.  The vines have extended with leaves and flowers to boot and one small green bulge at the base of a stem where a flower used to be.  The promise of a pumpkin!

Dry as a bone

Burnout. Why has it taken me so long to figure this out? Why does it creep up on me and then rear its ugly head every now and then? Why haven't I learned how to conquer and prepare for it yet? It dawned on me today that the stress of the season has resulted in a feeling of burnout once more. The usual daily doings coupled with the added 'tis the season preparations have brought me to the brink once more. I admit it.

Now how to counteract and return to my other self? First I am clinging to the One who can save me when I cannot save myself. I cry out to Him for strength to get through my day quite frequently of late. His faithfulness sees me through. Why wasn't I leaning heavily on him before and donning His armor to prepare for this fight? Where has my mind been? Not close enough to Him. Time to draw nigh again.

Next week we are taking a break from school. That should help, but until then, Lord, give me what I need - even it is burnout that brings me back to You.